Hillary's Secret Plan to "Control" Bill
Informed sources have reported today that consultants within the Clinton Presidential Campaign have devised a plan to prevent future "First Gentleman" William Jefferson Clinton from straying too far afield in pursuit of his favorite pastime and that the Future First Lady has already given here tacit approval to the proposal.
Operation "Humidor" (the meaning behind the name has yet to be determined) would involve the hiring of up to 30 college age "interns" to serve as part of the "First Gentleman's" personal staff. These interns would all be women who would serve directly under Bill.
In addition to the normal duties of interns, these special interns would be assigned such tasks as polishing his...speeches, providing lip service to such issues as may arise, and assuring that his cigar supply is kept at the proper humidity for his smoking pleasure.
The source states that background checks have already begun on a large number of voluteers who have been recruited nation-wide and even though it adds to the difficulty of obtaining security clearances for these interns, applications are being accepted from outside of the United States.
In return for their services, the First Lady has agreed to provide full scholarships at the university or college of their choice to each intern who fulfills her duties to her husband's "satisfaction."
It is believed that a new crop of interns will be brought in each year, and that this entourage will accompany the former President wherever his presence is sought or needed. The campaign hopes that this will reduce the likelihood of any scandals cropping up as they did during the first Clinton presidency.
Reportedly applications are still being accepted for these internships and only one hard and fast requirement is stipulated. All of these new interns must be of age, at least of age by the time the new adminsitration is sworn in.
It is further reported that Bill is "delighted" at the prospect of furthuring these young ladies' educations and will personally instruct them on the in's and out's of good governance. The former President is reported to be laying in a good supply of his favorite cocaine laced cigars in anticipation of a lot of pleasurable smoking.
Keep em' laughing folks. If Hillary actually gets elected we all may be crying for real.
Operation "Humidor" (the meaning behind the name has yet to be determined) would involve the hiring of up to 30 college age "interns" to serve as part of the "First Gentleman's" personal staff. These interns would all be women who would serve directly under Bill.
In addition to the normal duties of interns, these special interns would be assigned such tasks as polishing his...speeches, providing lip service to such issues as may arise, and assuring that his cigar supply is kept at the proper humidity for his smoking pleasure.
The source states that background checks have already begun on a large number of voluteers who have been recruited nation-wide and even though it adds to the difficulty of obtaining security clearances for these interns, applications are being accepted from outside of the United States.
In return for their services, the First Lady has agreed to provide full scholarships at the university or college of their choice to each intern who fulfills her duties to her husband's "satisfaction."
It is believed that a new crop of interns will be brought in each year, and that this entourage will accompany the former President wherever his presence is sought or needed. The campaign hopes that this will reduce the likelihood of any scandals cropping up as they did during the first Clinton presidency.
Reportedly applications are still being accepted for these internships and only one hard and fast requirement is stipulated. All of these new interns must be of age, at least of age by the time the new adminsitration is sworn in.
It is further reported that Bill is "delighted" at the prospect of furthuring these young ladies' educations and will personally instruct them on the in's and out's of good governance. The former President is reported to be laying in a good supply of his favorite cocaine laced cigars in anticipation of a lot of pleasurable smoking.
Keep em' laughing folks. If Hillary actually gets elected we all may be crying for real.
Labels: Bill Clinton, campaign, cigars, Hillary, interns, sex
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posted by Will Malven at 8:58 AM
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