Nobel Peace Prize Transforms Obama Into Butt of Jokes

Will Malven
10/09/2009

Awarding Barack Hussein Obama the Nobel Peace Prize may have been the greatest gift to Republicans in history.

The jokes are flying fast and in numbers I have never seen.

From FreeRepublic.com come the following sample (the list just keeps growing).

· Barak Obama Wins 2010 NBA Dunk Contest
Friday, October 09, 2009 11:53:16 AM · by elhombrelibre · 13+ views
FreeRepublic ^ 29 Feb 20101 Barak Obama
In another stunner, Barak Obama jumped through the roof of and dunked a basketball in his under pants to win this year's NBA All Star Break's Dunking contest. Obama smiled and said he was not worthy of the award, but he agreed that he should accept it in behalf of all people who understand the concept of dunking a basketball but who cannot do it.

· Breaking: NBA to Cancel Season. Awards Trophy to Barack Hussein Obama Mmmm Mmmm Mmmm
Friday, October 09, 2009 11:52:35 AM · by BulletBobCo · 11+ views
You Tube ^
After officials reviewed this video, the White House was informed that nobody could possibly beat this man.

· FLASH! Kim Jong Il Resigns, Names Obama New Leader of North Korea!
Friday, October 09, 2009 11:52:00 AM · by mbarker12474 · 28+ views
vanity 9 October 2009 Vanity
He recognized the New Messiah!

· Everything in America named "Martin Luther King" to be renamed for "Dr. Barrack Hussein Obama, Jr"
Friday, October 09, 2009 11:51:51 AM · by Mac from Cleveland · 3 replies · 36+ views
self 10-9-09 self
"After all, the president said, what's King done lately?"

· BREAKING: Barack Obama wins World Series by forfeit from all eight teams in the playoffs!!!
Friday, October 09, 2009 11:51:05 AM · by Man50D · 3 replies · 33+ views
All eight teams admitted defeat upon announcement BO had won the Nobel Peace Prize.

· Obama climbs Mount Everest...his only comment was, "refreshing"
Friday, October 09, 2009 11:49:57 AM · by AngelesCrestHighway · 28+ views
This man is simply amazing!

· Breaking: Obama named Time's Man of the Year for the last 20 and the next 20 years
Friday, October 09, 2009 11:49:45 AM · by dirtboy · 1 replies · 48+ views
dirtboy
TIME magazine today rescinded all of its previous Man/Person/Machine of the Year awards from the last 20 years (except for last year's) and retroactively gave them to Obama. It also presented the next 20 years of awards to Obama just prior to announcing its next issue would be its last.

· BREAKING: BARACK OBAMA WINS IDITAROD!!!!
Friday, October 09, 2009 11:46:44 AM · by WhistlingPastTheGraveyard · 10 replies · 171+ views
10/9/2009 Me
Take that, Palin!

· Barack obama Wins KENTUCKY DERBY !!!!!
Friday, October 09, 2009 11:46:06 AM · by woofie · 7 replies · 108+ views
today
Pulls away in the 5th (whatever that means)

· Barak Obama Awarded 2010 Pulitzer Prize for Literature
Friday, October 09, 2009 11:42:08 AM · by elhombrelibre · 1 replies · 78+ views
Fictional News Networks ^ 09 Oct 09 Elhombrelibre
Barak Obama joined writing luminaries as James A. Michener, Harper Lee, Ernest Hemingway, Larry McMurtry,and William Faulkner today as a recipient of the Pulitzer Prize for Literature. Obama's novel DADDY'S DREAMS PART TWO dazzled the critics and won over skeptics to the acceptance of Obama as one of the great intellects of our day. Obama accepted the award saying he was deeply humbled by the committees selection and promised to work even harder on his next book, DADDY's DREAMS PART THREE.

· BREAKING: Obama wins Indianapolis 500, Daytona 500 , 24-hour Sebring races the same day
Friday, October 09, 2009 11:42:06 AM · by NormsRevenge · 9 replies · 125+ views
Uhhhh... .com 10'9'09
Uhhh.. My fellow uhhh .. Americans. On behalf of uhh. you, I uhhh.. accept your accolades and prizes. Without you, I uhhhh.. could not have accomplished uhhhh.. what I have in such a short uhhh. time.

· BREAKING! Obama beats JIM THOMPSON at Balloon sit/egg carry race!
Friday, October 09, 2009 11:40:54 AM · by Danae · 1 replies · 66+ views
the universe ^ 10-9-2009 Danae
Hes done it again! Obama is UNBEATABLE! He beat Jim Thompson in a stunning upset in the Rose Garden on Friday morning, though no one actually saw Thompson, and there have been no confirmed sightings of him on either the White House grounds or anywhere in Washington D.C. None the less the President was shown holding his egg above his head in victory, a large grin upon his face. However, this did not prevent President from graciously thanking Mr. Thompson for his sportsmanship and for the ribald jokes told while on the playing field. "So, Jim, did that balloon popping...

· FLASH: Barack Obama wins Top Chef Las Vegas, awarded FOUR Michelin Stars (out of 3)
Friday, October 09, 2009 11:37:56 AM · by Petronski · 8 replies · 158+ views
Bravo Network / Magical Elves Productions ^ 10-9-9 Tom Colicchio
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE For the first time in Top Chef history, a non-competitor has been awarded the prize of Top Chef. In recognition of the intensely delicious and most excellent dishes Mr. Obama has from time to time considered cooking, we hereby declare him Top Chef Las Vegas. Our French culinary colleagues have endorsed our recognition by awarding Mr. Obama four Michelin stars, on a scale of three. Prizes to be awarded to Mr. Obama include $125,000 in cash, a brand new Toyota Prius, a year's supply of the Glad family of food storage products, and rights of consortium with...

· BREAKING: OBAMA WINS THE AMAZING RACE!!!
Friday, October 09, 2009 11:34:06 AM · by bigheadfred · 11 replies · 241+ views
SELF OCT. 9, 2009 SELF
HE MOVES SO FAST IT APPEARS HE'S NOT MOVING AT ALL!!

· Barack Obama becomes New Santa Clause
Friday, October 09, 2009 11:27:52 AM · by erkyl · 11 replies · 194+ views
10/9/09 Erkyl
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE North Pole. The real Santa and Mrs. Clause received eviction notice today and have been ordered to vacate the North Pole immediately so that the newly appointed Barack and Michelle Obama can begin serving immediately as the new (and improved) Santa and Mrs. Clause. The drastic move became necessary as the former Santa and Mrs. Clause continually asserted that Barack and Michelle could not possibly become Santa because of his Muslim religion. However, that notion was dismissed by the Presiding Majority Elf Leader, Nancy Pelosi, calling the former Santa and Mrs. Clause "artificial snow". "As the holiday...

· Barack Obama inducted into Rock and Roll Hall of Fame!!!
Friday, October 09, 2009 11:27:45 AM · by wastedyears · 4 replies · 205+ views
Forget about Metallica and Deep Purple, they've decided to cancel everybody else and induct Obama into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

· Obama Named Miss Hooters 2010
Friday, October 09, 2009 11:26:50 AM · by kristinn · 26 replies · 685+ views
Friday, October 9, 2009 Kristinn
Miss Hooters 2010Hooters announced today that they are naming Barack Obama 'Miss Hooters 2010'.Hooters pageant judge Perez Hilton said the committee based their vote on Obama's performance in the swimsuit competition. That Obama didn't participate in the official swimsuit competition was judged to be a racist standard that was thrown out premptively to avoid a civil rights investigation by Attorney General Eric Holder, according to another judge, the Rev. Al Sharpton.Sharpton said he had submitted this photo of the 2007 Miss Hooters contest to Holder and that Holder had quickly responded that he was going to personally oversee the investigation:

· BREAKING: Obama Wins All Events at 2012 Olympics!
Friday, October 09, 2009 11:25:51 AM · by BulletBobCo · 11 replies · 251+ views
All events, male and female, have been awarded to Barack Hussein Obama. The award ceremony to take place atop Sugarloaf Mountain.

· BREAKING! obama wins "American Idol"
Friday, October 09, 2009 11:21:12 AM · by freedumb2003 · 4 replies · 252+ views
10/9/2009 Simon Cowell
His rendition of the Americanized version of "Deutschlandlied" -- Amerikalandlied -- riveted the entire panel. When he got to the "We will crush Capitalism and bow or heads before the world" lyric the entire audience was on its feet and there wasn't a dry eye in the house. The producers are now trying to decide if there is any point in continuing the series, since the Best Performer Ever has been found. As an aside, judge Simon Cowell noted: "What is truly amazing about this performance is it was done via a letter written by someone named TOTUS..."

· Obama wins $10 Million Publishers Clearing House Sweepstakes.
Friday, October 09, 2009 11:21:03 AM · by Mac from Cleveland · 10 replies · 198+ views
Mac from Cleveland 10-9-09 self
I also heard Michelle's the odds-on favorite for the Kentucky Derby....

· BREAKING: Obama wins "Survivor" reality show!
Friday, October 09, 2009 11:13:42 AM · by NMEwithin · 26 replies · 342+ views
10/09/2009 NMEwithin
President Obama has just been awarded the one million dollar prize and the honor of being the Ultimate Survivor without even having been to Samoa or participating in any challenges. The actual contestants were told to just "go home" by Jeff Probst after it was determined by show producers that president Obama had outwitted and outplayed them all in one genius stroke of complete non-action on his part.

· BREAKING: Obama Wins Dancing with the Stars Trophy - Rest of Season Cancelled
Friday, October 09, 2009 11:04:32 AM · by illiac · 45 replies · 959+ views
Self ^ 10/9/09 Self
President 0bama was today awarded the Dancing with the Stars Trophy for the best Sidestep routine ever seen by the judges. Commenting after the award, the judges commented on how he so deftly sidestepped every issue known to man, and his sidestep routine showcases his inherent talent never before seen on the dance floor.

· Breaking: NHL cancels season, awards Stanley Cup to Barack Obama (And other news)
Friday, October 09, 2009 10:58:09 AM · by GeorgiaDawg32 · 8 replies · 386+ views
Liberal Lunacy ^ 10/9/09 Liberal Lunacy Staff/REM
(Hockeytown, USA - 10/9/09) In a stunning announcement today, a spokesperson for the NHL Commissioner issued the following short statement: "We are pleased to present the 2009-2010 Stanley Cup to President Obama for his innate ability to skate around every issue that comes his way. Forwards, backwards or sideways, his skating ability is second to none." "We are also seriously considering awarding him the Defenseman of the Year award not only for his backwards skating ability, but also his ability to defend against everything he's done wrong by effectively blaming all ills on someone who hasn't been in office for...

· BREAKING:Obama wins the Cy Young Award
Friday, October 09, 2009 10:55:46 AM · by hecht · 20 replies · 638+ views
In an unprecidented move, both the National and American Leagues awarded President Barack Obama the Cy Young Award. Speculation exists that he will also receive the MVP Award. When asked to comment, senior aide Rahm Emmanuel stated that MLB knew from Obama's Mom Jeans that he wasn't taking performance enhancing drugs.

· Barack 0bama the new James Bond
Friday, October 09, 2009 12:14:05 PM · by Perdogg
10.09.09 Perdogg
BHO will play James Bond in "A Rush to Kill"

· Obama wins the Mid-American Conference Championship
Friday, October 09, 2009 12:12:38 PM · by N3WBI3 · 14+ views
http://bull-run.blogspot.com/ 10/9/09 Bull Run
Cleveland Ohio: At a high key media event Mid American Conference Commissioner Jon Steinbrecher Announced that the 2009 Mid American Conference Championship Trophy was being awarded to Barack Obama. I saw him throw the football around this spring at the white house and I knew even in March that his vision, his passion for football, and his eloquence as a leader put him far and above any coach or player in the Conference, perhaps in all of college football. -- Jon Steinbrecher

· BREAKING: Obama wins "International Man of Mystery" award!
Friday, October 09, 2009 12:12:29 PM · by NMEwithin · 1 replies · 26+ views
Neither Austin Powers nor Doctor Evil could be reached for comment...Mini-Me said to NOT be happy...

· Obama delivers pizza in less than 30 minutes!
Friday, October 09, 2009 12:12:16 PM · by mark3681 · 24+ views
self 10/09/2009 mark3681
...fresh from the oven...

· BREAKING!!! Obama makes it snow early in Chicago.. IOC reverses decision!
Friday, October 09, 2009 12:11:28 PM · by historyrepeatz · 1 replies · 76+ views
Audacity of Narcissism Billy Ayers
ANYTHING to distract from passage of Obamacare!

· Barak Goes Back In Time, Repairs Black Sox Scandal, Buys Joe Jackson New Shoes
Friday, October 09, 2009 12:11:05 PM · by InvisibleChurch · 17+ views
10.9.9
BHO spoke: "Losing is a disease... as contagious as polio... as contagious as syphilis... as contagious as the bubonic plague... attacking one, but affecting all."

· Obama wins 2009 AKC "Best of Show"!!!!
Friday, October 09, 2009 12:10:16 PM · by fishtank · 6 replies · 52+ views
fishtank
Obama wins 2009 AKC "Best of SHow".

· Breaking (with photo): Obama challenges Kobayashi to hot dog eating contest.
Friday, October 09, 2009 12:09:42 PM · by sbMKE · 1 replies · 89+ views
Flickr. ^ 10/9/09 live reports
Live: Obama vs. Kobayashi in a hot dog eating contest.

· CAN IT BE? Obama cures cancer, Mt. St. Helens moves
Friday, October 09, 2009 12:08:51 PM · by mlizzy · 44+ views
WPOS 10-09-09 Staff
Today, in an unpresidented move, Barack Obama has come out of the closet with his cure for cancer. When asking about the antidote to the harsh disease, smiling and all wee-wee'd up, he blurted out, "It's been the arugula all along. I tried to bring it up previously and there was laughter, mocking even, but for those who voted for me, for those who believe, for those who want even more hope and change, I had to come clean, and speak up now!" Upon stating these facts, there was a tremble in Skamania County, Washington. People visiting and locals...

· Barak Obama Named Mr. Universe 2010
Friday, October 09, 2009 12:07:15 PM · by elhombrelibre · 6 replies · 109+ views
Fictional News Network ^ 2010 Barak Obama
A lathered up, muscle-bound, Barak Obama accepted next year's Mr. Universe with a vim and vigor saying only America haters like the Taliban, al Qaeda, and Rush Limbaugh do not appreciate what this award means to skinny kids all over the world. Obama pledged to use his winnings to take all the gold medals in the 2016 Rio Olympics. To get ready, Obama pledged to read carefully from the teleprompter using uplifting rhetoric bound to assure his win.

· BREAKING! Barack Hussein Obama's likeness to be carved into Mount Rushmore!
Friday, October 09, 2009 12:06:44 PM · by wbill · 11 replies · 121+ views
Total Vanity ^ 10/9/09 me
When asked "Why?", BO replied, "Well, let me be clear. This is not at all about me. However, it's not like those guys have done much lately, anyway. I think our national parks need some refreshing."

· Breaking: Pope Benedict crowns Obama "Holy Roman Emperor"
Friday, October 09, 2009 12:04:25 PM · by Alter Kaker · 15 replies · 260+ views
The Vatican ^ Today me
In a surprise move, Pope Benedict XVI crowned US President Barack Obama "Holy Roman Emperor" today in a rose garden ceremony.In a statement, the Pope said "Emperor Obama follows in the footsteps of Charlemagne and the Emperor Constantine."In other news, Chinese Premier Hu Jintao announced plans to restore the Qing dynasty, saying that Barack Obama -- a direct descendant of the last Manchu Emperor -- would be China's new Emperor.However, Turkish officials were quick to deny widely published reports of a restoration of the Byzantine Empire. "Turks wiped out the Byzantines in 1453. There are simply no Byzantines here for...

· BREAKING - Barack Hussein Obama Declared Winner of 2000 Florida Recount
Friday, October 09, 2009 12:04:23 PM · by 95Theses · 5 replies · 91+ views
10/9/09 Self
On a day which has already seen an unprecedented number of contests, awards, and competitions surprisingly go his way, President B. Hussein Obama now has one more feather in his cap: the presidency of George W. Bush. The Florida Supreme Court and United States Supreme Court, in an extraordinary and highly unconstitutional joint session, have granted former Vice-President Gore's request for a targeted recount of the 2000 presidential election results in select Florida counties. Furthermore, the joint court has declared Obama to be the winner of the recount, thereby gaining all of Florida's electoral votes in the 2000 election. While...

· Barrach Hussein wins Mother Theresa Awards
Friday, October 09, 2009 12:03:32 PM · by 240B · 3 replies · 41+ views
http://a@b.com now vanity
Because of his infallible beatific presence, Hussein will be awarded "Salvation of all Mankind" award. developing...

· White Smoke over Vatican, Cardinals Elect Obama as Pope!
Friday, October 09, 2009 12:03:13 PM · by Rebelbase · 4 replies · 185+ views
Hypothetical Vatican News ^ 10/9/09 Varios
VATICAN CITY: White smoke billowed from the the chimney of the election hall this morning signaling the time honored tradition of notifying the world a new Pope has been elected. By a unanimous first round vote a hastily called session of the Vatican Council, Barak Obama has been elected Pope of the Catholic Church. "He's our best hope for world peace and bringing unity and hope to oppressed people in the world", said an unnamed Vatican spokesperson. Replaced Pope Benedict XVI was said to be in seclusion and unavailable for comment. World reaction is said to be both elation and...

...The Amazing Barack Hussein Obama...MMM...MMM...MMM!!!

Long Live Our American Republic!!!!

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